Pretend you like these: TV shows: Babylon V, Star Trek, Carnivale. When you meet a B5 fan, claim ST. Claim B5 to ST fans. Meet a fan of both, ask if they've seen Carnivale. No, Carnivale isn't true geek fare, but it's high-brow enough that you'll pass as one who has "burnt out" on the science fiction genre temporarily. Gain extra points by dropping "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "X-Files" into the conversation. Avoid "Sliders" and "Quantum Leap", they died on cancellation. Don't even claim affection for "Firefly", because Firefly is so supercool, even it's fans disown it for fear of being flamed by the other fans. It's like the name of a diety: never say it out loud.
Clearly, nerds are still in.
zeitgeist | August 03, 19:10 CET
So, do I qualify?
A fun read, and spot on in a lot of places. Though I never knew that Firefly was a diet. Something to do with mystery meals perhaps?
The Least | August 03, 19:38 CET
AnotherFireflyfan | August 03, 19:40 CET
I've never seen that, but then again, I was a fan pre-Serenity.
Anusien | August 03, 20:04 CET
And I've been a fan pre-DVDs. ;-) Back when it was actually on TV... wow...
More Geek Cred faking: Mention the number 42 as the answer to any question you are asked. Memorize a handful of Monty Python quotes (bonus for entire sketches) and repeat them randomly. And when it comes to anime, mention watching it subtitled and not dubbed - and never NEVER mention Dragonball.
[ edited by AnotherFireflyfan on 2006-08-03 18:15 ]
AnotherFireflyfan | August 03, 20:09 CET
I think what they mean by that is fear of being flamed by fans of other shows. Depends what sites you frequent. There are places out there that made "Browncoat" a dirty word.
delirium_haze | August 03, 20:17 CET
dainichijess | August 03, 20:29 CET
But really... dirty word? Is it our enthusiasm that bothers people?
AnotherFireflyfan | August 03, 20:31 CET
I think the AMD-ATi merger could be great. Not a chip-head but the sort of design stuff GPUs use for concurrent pipelining etc. sounds like it'd be pretty handy for a CPU manufacturer plus it'll give AMD more inroads on chipsets so that they have more control of the complete platform. And AMD have a reasonable history of openness which might mean ATi finally opening their drivers so that the Linux ATi drivers may actually not suck.
Basically it makes for stronger competition (especially at a time when Intel's also actually making some cool products) and stronger competition makes for all that great consumer friendly stuff like price-wars and added value packages (OK, great in the short term - let's just stick our heads in the sand about * fingers in ears La, la, la * unsustainably low chip prices and * la, la, la I can't hear you * massive corporate debt ;).
Funny article but i've got to take issue with two things in particular. 1) there's just no way, in any world i'm familiar with, that Java is cooler than C. Nuh-uh. It's like C with stabilisers. Maybe i'm getting old but an elegant piece of C code still takes just about anything else out the back for a good shoeing and 2) 'Wargames' is a genuine geek classic and David Lightman is still one of the best representations on film of a geek so to even mention it in the same breath as 'Hackers' or 'Short Circuit' is just ... not even wrong.
Yet more bluffer's guide suggestions:
Refer whenever possible to celebrities (especially those with some geek cred) by their name's TLA (Three Letter Abbreviation) e.g. JMS, SMG, DNA, RMS
As an alternative to '42' use 'a suffusion of yellow' as an answer to questions (especially those totalling more than 4). Still Douglas Adams (or DNA ;) just 'Dirk Gently's' instead of H2G2.
Use /. jokes in real life where absolutely no-one else will get them. e.g. to a Fox exec: In Soviet Russia, Firefly cancels YOU.
Be seen reading anything by Donald Knuth. e.g. his laundry list. Don't worry, no need to understand it, just hold the book without falling asleep. Geek cred will actually start to ooze out of your orifices you'll have so much ;).
[ edited by Saje on 2006-08-03 18:35 ]
Saje | August 03, 20:34 CET
You are absolutely correct re: C vs. Java - and the first person to mention C# gets slapped with any available lunch meats. Don't get me started on Wargames vs Hackers or Short Circuit (cringe).
But, hey they managed to mention Ubuntu on Veronica Mars, so...
re: TLAs, use them wisely, use them often, whether with hardware (Did you hear nVidia is launching a new IGP as the successor to the 6200 series?), celebrities/people of note (Do you like RMS or ESR better?), or just MOU (make one up).
re: 42/suffusion of yellow, etc. 'A fine red mist' is always a great reference as well, though not Douglas Adams. You could always mention 'Shada' from when Douglas was script editor for Doctor Who, however.
re: /. jokes -- Natalie Portman and hot grits? /waits for a domo-kun to attack (we're heading to FARK territory).
Read: William Gibson, Neal Stephenson, Neil Gaiman, etc. etc. etc.
zeitgeist | August 03, 20:44 CET
YellowBear | August 03, 20:50 CET
Java may not be "cooler" than C, but I wouldn't want to write a web app in C, nor would I want to write a graphical application in C. With features like namespaces, runtime reflection, and built in security it's way more useable than C for many types of applications. Now, if you're Alan Cox (he's the one in the middle) then yeah, you use C.
As far as C# goes, it has some interesting language features, and some cool foundation classes (I think that's what MS calls their class library), but I wouldn't use it unless I could run my app in Mono as well as the MS runtime.
[ edited by Caleb on 2006-08-03 19:24 ]
Caleb | August 03, 21:18 CET
Caleb | August 03, 21:32 CET
But..... I prefer Windows to Linux! My geek cred is gone forever.....
MissKittysMom | August 03, 21:45 CET
C# !!! Booga-booga!
Seriously, I just got my certification (MCSD) in Microsoft development. C# is one very cool language. Gotta stick up for it!
MissKittysMom | August 03, 21:55 CET
I'm not entirely sure why Java is seen as uncool - the CS students and teachers I've encountered all lavish praise upon it.
Other things to do: use acronyms developed for internet chat in verbal conversations. IE. Say LOL instead of laughing, or OMG, WTF, etc.
As for ways to lose all geek-cred: Refer to the Internet as a series of tubes
[ edited by AnotherFireflyfan on 2006-08-03 20:04 ]
AnotherFireflyfan | August 03, 22:03 CET
Wow, I never knew that. Do you have a reference for that? I did a google for it but couldn't find anything.
Caleb | August 03, 22:11 CET
menachem | August 03, 22:25 CET
As for Knuth and the traffic light thing, it's somewhere in one of the volumes of "The Art of Computer Programming." Knuth used it as a programming example (maybe in discussing state machines? it's been a while since I read it). His comment was some sort of throw-away like "ignore the fact that it would never be practical." The books have been revised at least once, so it may even have been deleted in a revised edition.
MissKittysMom | August 03, 22:28 CET
I prefer Windows to Linux!
But, but ... why ? ;)
the schools have switched from C++ to Java
AnotherFireflyFan, makes sense since Java's easier to learn and a bit cleaner, IMO. To be honest, it's not that it's not cool (only COBOL is genuinely uncool ;), it's just not as cool. Early implementations were way too slow (though JIT/dynamic compilation has helped a lot there) and VMs were too buggy and to some extent the language is still trying to live that down. I've seen complaints that it teaches bad habits when moving (back ?) to languages without garbage collection but all languages have gotchas so i'm not sure that's really valid (same with primitive objects or lack thereof - if you really need a fully OO language then don't use Java but it's not a language killing issue, IMO).
(and the portability idea is great on paper, maybe not so much in the real world where it doesn't - or didn't - always work as well as it should, as MissKittysMom says)
Not really looked at C# though a mate thinks it equals sliced white bread on the gifts-to-humankind scale. Still, given their past record it's a slight worry that it may be yet another MS ploy to enable totally portable development across every single ... version of Windows (i.e. open standard language and they opened the CLI but AFAIK the base class library still seems to be on shakier legal ground). Fair play though, they're not lawyer-slapping any of the open source implementations of .NET so that bodes well.
That said, I mostly use
toyscripting languages now anyway (been using Perl, started learning that other language after going back to a hastily slapped together script 6 months later and thinking 'WTF ?' one too many times) so YMMV and WTF do I know ;).Fair point Caleb, pick the right language for the application. C for speed (of execution, certainly not development ;), Perl for quick and dirty text munging, Python for quick and dirty text munging that'll make sense in 6 months, Java for learning programming, Ada for missile guidance, COBOL for, err, umm, ASCII art on two-tone printer paper ? ;)
zeitgeist, You must be new here (are the hot grits naked and petrified ? It's the only way to eat them apparently ;).
Saje | August 03, 23:12 CET
"I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that."
"What's the problem, Hal."
Sorry, couldn't resist ;)
Madhatter | August 03, 23:25 CET
Plus, I don't think the Browncoat movement is as recognised as anything like Star Wars or Star Trek, and is probably not as well known by the general public as Buffy or Angel.
Although I have done my bit to try and spread the word and convert fans, I suspect if you were to randomnly sample a set number of people then very few would have even heard of Firefly or Serenity (at least that they can remember). It seems to be mainly Browncoats, or anyone who is very interested in TV shows and movies who actually know about it.
And although I wish it had reached a wider audience in order to ensure further adventures in the 'verse, I kind of like the fact that it's quite underground. Despite the large Internet presence, if you were to walk around your town wearing a Blue Sun t-shirt or something, I think very few people might know what it was. But when you do get someone who knows about it, then it's a really cool feeling, like you instantly have a connection through Firefly.
Razor | August 03, 23:27 CET
skeezycheeses | August 03, 23:29 CET
Probably the most frightening mis-use of a language I've ever heard of was using Smalltalk for embedded missle guidance. For those who are not Smalltalk-literate, it's a completely OO language that is also completely typeless with run-time binding. Whether or not a method will execute is completely unknowable until you try it.
C# looks a lot like Java but is fully OO. Single inheritance with interfaces; garbage collection; exception handling; namespaces; reflection; etc. It supports "generics" which are somewhat like C++ templates. C# is open to allow interaction with "non-managed" code (pointers, COM, all the old-world stuff). The security model is radically different from Java, and is based on the .NET security framework which incorporates authentication, authorization, and fairly fine-grained privilege constraints that can be based on either authorization or code modules.
[ edited by MissKittysMom on 2006-08-03 21:51 ]
MissKittysMom | August 03, 23:49 CET
Caroline | August 04, 00:07 CET
Ummmm, did we wander off-topic?
MissKittysMom | August 04, 00:12 CET
Thanks, Caroline for keeping us honest.
Madhatter | August 04, 00:45 CET
Anusien | August 04, 01:11 CET
It might be a B&D style language but that's exactly what you want when moving missiles around the sky (unlike Smalltalk's potential 'Avoid school: Method not implemented yet, sorry' approach as scarily outlined by MissKittysMom).
That said, maybe you want unreliable missiles if they've been fired at Serenity. Wait a minute, is that a topic I see before me ? (and a smoother seque never was seen. Fact ;).
Saje | August 04, 01:53 CET
Madhatter | August 04, 02:12 CET
(unless you're just really averse to buffer-overflows in which case, sorry dude, because they're everywhere ;)
Saje | August 04, 02:41 CET
BTW Python rules! Just had to say that.
Caleb | August 04, 04:10 CET
There are even cruises for geeks, and they must eat specially-prepared food.
Those interested (nerds) may take scientifically-designed examinations to establish their nerd-creds, and determine geek levels.
Just the other day, I was talking with my partner about nerds vs. geeks vs. dorks vs. melvins, etc., and said that, you know, I was clearly a geek, but not a true nerd, and not a dork, I thought, but a little bit of a melvin, and he said, "You realize, don't you, that just by bringing this up, you are all of them?"
God, he's such a dweeb.
"I'm a science fiction geek from birth -- that's just who I am." -- Joss,
60 Second Interview by Andrew Williams - March 2, 2006
QuoterGal | August 04, 07:54 CET
Caroline | August 04, 10:46 CET
...presses DEL to deliver.
Karenina | August 04, 12:58 CET
Anyone notice how I pushed this on topic? I should get a cookie or something. ;-)
[ edited by AnotherFireflyfan on 2006-08-04 13:00 ]
AnotherFireflyfan | August 04, 14:59 CET
Do you have third-party cookies enabled?
MissKittysMom | August 04, 15:31 CET
But it is ok. For some reason, I've got mediaevalism going for me. And of course, Buffy.
Lioness | August 04, 15:52 CET
MissKittysMom | August 04, 15:59 CET
But what about Cordelia in Angel --- she was able to find anything - and I mean anything - from the net. It was just leetle bit too convenient. Oh --- she must have learned all that hacking from Willow's computer classes! It all makes sense now.
Karenina | August 04, 16:06 CET
I haven't seen many shows/films that have realistic computer scenes, from super-fast 'any key will do' typing to massive fonts that only let you fit about 10 words on screen at once to 'hackers' that can access any system by typing stuff like 'Access system: 001', almost nobody gets it right (or even tries to because, in fairness, programming ? Not that cinematic). For sanity's sake it's best to let it go ;).
(kudos to aforementioned 'Wargames', 'Sneakers' and 'Matrix Reloaded' for at least trying - OK, the Matrix exploit wasn't real but the vulnerability was, albeit pretty old and I use nmap all the time so I too could be Trinity if I simply started wearing PVC cat-suits. And became a woman ;)
Saje | August 04, 16:25 CET
LOL... yeah, how'd Cordy get so good at the Googling? I still have trouble finding things sometimes!
Personally, I really love TI-Basic. (That's programming on TI-83 graphing calculators). Sure, it's a poorly conceived language with major limitations (all variables are global, for instance. Oh, and you only get about 25K on the calculator to work with.) - but in many ways the limitations add to the challenge. Really, I just like being able to program when bored in classes. ;-)
Basic is a good starting language. I learned programming in QBasic (and later VB). But once you learn C++ you never want to go back (unless you want to implement a GUI in Windows, then VB is simplest).
There really needs to be a movie for programming geeks - cause I actually think it IS exciting stuff (despite being 'not cinematic'). I guess you need to be able to follow it better than the average layman.
Edit: HA! I claim comment number 42 in the name of all things geeky. ;-)
[ edited by AnotherFireflyfan on 2006-08-04 15:51 ]
AnotherFireflyfan | August 04, 17:07 CET
Personally I didn't really have a problem with Willow's computer skills as described, because it is conceivable that someone could manage to do most of the things she did (although I doubt all of the information she accessed would be hanging about on the web- like schematics of the sewer system). But I just think that whenever they had to show it visually then it usually didn't work as well. I could tell that some of it was rubbish even though I'm not the most computer literate person out there. However it did work fine as a plot device.
And regarding the research the Scooby Gang did, I again found it fairly believable. Giles obviously would have had a good idea of what sort of stuff was in each book, so if for example they had a case of people being burnt to death, then Giles could narrow it down to certain types of demon or ghost or whatever, so then they would just have to go through the relevant books. I suppose he could have organised them by category as well. And it did seem like research often took up a lot of time for the characters, even with a team of them working. I think they would all have probably gotten more familiar with the books and how to use them. And of course there were a number of times where they got the wrong explanation or just couldn't find what they were looking for- like in "Smashed". Although it does occur to me now when I think of random episodes how frequently they managed to obtain vital information from books.
Razor | August 04, 19:29 CET
"The Code Supremacy"
INT. Fluorescent lit cubicle farm. PAN TO
One particular cubicle. Littered about the desk are toys, jars of play-doh and a collection of old calculators. A badly singed George Lucas doll sits to the side, numerous pins sticking out of it.
Sally Love Interest: What's Sheila Bad Programmer up to ?
Dirk Good Programmer: Wait a second, OMG, she's only trying to index past the end of the array FFS. The fool, doesn't she know we go gold in 18 hours ? Hang on let me just ... yep, edit the source ... commit changes ... OK, i'm linking ... compiling ... c'mon, c'mon, Dammnit why wouldn't my tough but fair boss requisition a faster machine ? OK, done. Now if I can just execute the code in time ...
Sally Love Interest: In time for what Dirk ? Since we have 18 hours there's actually no urgency at all is there ?
Dirk Good Programmer: Oh Sally, bless your blinkered view of reality, don't ypu see ? It's the 200th episode of Stargate: SG-1 at 8 sharp. Jack O'Neill's back so I must see it live.
Sally Love Interest: You know it's recorded right ?
Dirk Good Programmer: err, ... it's live when they record it though, right ? Anyway, none of this is getting that code run, stand back Sally...
SLOW MOTION shot of hand reaching for 'Enter' key, maybe ramp the music up a bit here, it is the big hero moment after all. Finger moves down and ... PRESS !
CLOSE ON: blinking cursor by a normal, blessedly non-apocalypsy command prompt. Not a single error has been reported.
MUSIC REACHES TRIUMPHANT CRESCENDO.
Sally Love Interest: Oh Dirk, you code the best !
Dirk Good Programmer: We all have our gifts Sally. Here let me take off those glasses ... and let your hair down ... My God Sally, you're beautiful.
Sally and Dirk gaze into each other's eyes finally clinching in a long passionate kiss.
Credits.
Yep, i'm convinced. There should never ever be a film made about programming (now we know why there's loads of programming books but not that many programming videos ;).
(I could live with the library research because we were often shown how long and boring it was, flicking through a bunch of books to find the right reference, the computer stuff on the other hand - even fairly hardcore hacking - seemed to take approx. 2 seconds most of the time. Still, artistic licence and all that)
Saje | August 04, 19:45 CET
I'm sure there are some fascinating true programming stories, though. Maybe not so cinematic. But interesting none-the-less. I just wish there was something that could give the general public a better idea of what programming actually is (ie not a bunch of flashing colors). Kinda like how Done The Impossible gives a good idea of what being a Browncoat is. ;-) [yay... topical]
The way computers are treated on Buffy/Angel doesn't really ruin the experience for me, the writing is so good you can look past the creative liberties they take. Well... except for I Robot You Jane. That one was just plain bad - the plot too heavily relied on false notions of how computers/internet works.
AnotherFireflyfan | August 04, 20:08 CET
I do know what you mean but I think it'd be pretty hard to capture the thrill of solving a problem or producing a particularly elegant approach to something on screen since it's largely intellectual. Hell, even bug hunting can be cool from a puzzle solving perspective (especially when you finally track the little sod down ;) but it's hard to convey to non-programmers.
And I also didn't really have issues with the technical details in Buffy since the show in no way hinged on it. Character and emotional resonance were always much more important to the creators and we're all better off as a result.
(as you say, if everything else is good enough then small slips are fine - especially when sometimes the 'slips' are deliberate choices for good cinematic reasons - and, IMO, if the technical issues are really obvious to the viewer then there are deeper problems with the show anyway since a good narrative should make you willing - even eager - to suspend disbelief)
Saje | August 04, 21:42 CET
If anyone ever figures out a way to get the non-programming-inclined people to understand even things like what programs are it would be an amazing breakthrough. My grandma thinks that everything is "Microsoft" or "eBay" (even when referring to completely different programs) and I can't even get her to understand what a word processor is, let alone how programs work. :-S
To me programming is simple logic, that's what's so great about it - it makes sense. Moreso than life does, because programs actually follow logic rules where life diverges all over the place. (hmm... I wonder if that has something to do with why I love programming so much...)
AnotherFireflyfan | August 04, 22:09 CET
Thanks for all those links, quotergal. I loved the cat and dog hiearchy article - it even made sense!
I am in awe of the knowledge on this board. After reading the original article about how to 'fake' being a geek, I thought I really didn't need to fake it, but now I'm reconsidering. My knowledge of programming is very basic (yes, that was on purpose), but I am actually interested in hearing more, even though I was with Caroline on the 'huh?"
samatwitch | August 05, 02:06 CET
This discussion reminded me of this ye olde site from the days the internet was young...
Computer cliches.
If writing/acting is good and there are no huge gaps in the story, I don't mind the computer related stupidities in film and tv. Occasionally I smirk. Sometimes I cough (like couple of days ago when I saw in an episode of Prison Break how a Bad Guy traced the location of the Good Guys from instant messaging with handy graphical tool).
If there are no redeeming qualities, I can be merciless. Re: Alias!
Karenina | August 05, 02:10 CET
"The other interesting thing is that Joss Whedon, either by accident or design, managed to stuff up every single relationship in the first few seasons. Buffy and Angel are cat/cat, Xander and Cordelia are cat/cat, Willow and Oz are dog/dog. The resultant painful reshuffling made the series rather interesting. He even needed to invent a new 'vampire with a soul' of the correct type, Spike.
Note also that this explains why Buffy gets on well with Giles but not with Wesley. Faith however finds Giles's leadership style unsatisfying.
As far as I can tell, in both the Buffy and Angel series, the cat/dog relationship rules allow you to predict the outcome of any given relationship perfectly." -- from the geekish logarithmic's "Cat and Dog Hierarchy theory.
QuoterGal | August 05, 02:31 CET
I find the dog/cat stuff pretty interesting and it also has the ring of truth though I think almost everyone plays both roles depending on the situation (i'm also not sure i'd peg Xander as a cat since he doesn't seem to propose many solutions but then he's not really the analytical, evaluating dog type either).
As for Dirk and Sally, despite a solid critical reception lukewarm box-office has jeopardised their sequel chances ;-).
(glad if it provided a few chuckles though)
[ edited by Saje on 2006-08-06 23:15 ]
Saje | August 07, 01:15 CET